Please sir, Can I have some more?
by CorBen
Summary: What if Bella was keeping a secret from Jacob and Edward? What if one day she got sick and was forced to tell them the truth? Will this make life more difficult for Bella? Will Edward and Jacob's protective side drive Bella over the edge?
1. Chapter 1

I own nothing except my thoughts ;)

**BPOV**

"Jacob, please hold me." I begged as I lay curled up in a tight ball under five thick comforters on my small bed.

"I don't know Bells. Why don't we just put you in some flannels?" He replied with eyeing me with concern.

I shook my head with as much fervor s my weak frame could muster. "No, because when I sweat I'll be stuck in wet clothes."

He sat there for a few more minutes looking extremely pensive. I was about to ask again when he stood up out of my rocking chair and took off his shirt. He was a complete vision of beauty. Tanned skin, strong build, yet soft eyes and a smile that could rival that of a lighthouse in the fog. Of course I didn't ask him to lie in bed with me half naked so I could feel him up, or vise versa. Right now I just need his supernatural body heat and he knew this. Though his smile betrayed him, I knew he would enjoy this, as would I.

Jake and I discussed our friendship years ago. Though we were very physically attracted to each other our first kiss was rather gross. I felt like I was kissing my brother and he said that he felt the same. Sometimes we acted like more than friends but that was just our nature. We were extremely comfortable around each other, stemming form bathing together the first year and a half of our lives. We had experimented with each other, not or of lust but curiosity and the sheer fact that we each knew that the other was safe territory.

So, why the hesitation to hop into bed with me now? Well two reasons first being we are much older. We may be just friends but Jacob's raging hard ons are getting more difficult to veil. Second: I, Bella Swan, actually have a boyfriend. I am dating the most gorgeous boy at Forks High. Well, I use the term boy loosely. He's more of a 109-year-old vampire. He and Jake almost had it out more than a couple of times, until I explained it to both of them clearly; Jacob is my other half, Edward is my soul, either be civil with each other or find a new girl to fight over. In my heart I knew I was serious, I could never live without either one of them, but I must've sounded serious enough because they've both been pretty civil with each other ever since.

This brings us back to present day. Edward went hunting for the weekend and this is the first time I got him to leave without sticking me with a babysitter like some unpredictable pet.

Jacob let a small sigh escape his lips as he pulled back the covers exposing my overheated skin clad in purple lace bras with matching boy shorts. Being that my bed is so small I was forced to lie on top of him.

"I can't believe that you never told me", he said his words dripping with annoyance.

"I don't know how you never knew", I replied with a small voice. I really wasn't up for a full conversation and I knew that he would hear me no matter how softly I spoke.

"I don't know if I'm more mad at you, or more mad at myself. How is it that I never noticed? You're not even a good liar!"

"It's not about lying Jake! I never lied to you. It's about disclosure. I never fully disclosed my entire medical history to you", I argued.

"Leave it to you to use big words when your throat is about to swell shut", he pointed out.

I so didn't have the strength for this argument. But, maybe he thought talking would keep me conscious, not that I was in danger of passing out, then again he's never seen me like this.

"Jake!" I huffed. "Please can you just hold me and shut up?"

Next was Jake's turn to huff

"Hmpf", was his childish response as he wrapped his arms around my waist. They were so long he could have wrapped them around me twice, but for now they served their purpose, to help me with my deep chills.

After a few minutes of lying in silence Jake whispered. "Are you sure you need me? Your skin feels like it's on fire".

"Can't you feel me shaking? It feels like you left all the windows open and have a fan on. I need you", I whispered back hoping he could hear the sleep in my voice.

Nothing more was said until I woke up a few hours later.


	2. Chapter 2

I don't own anything except the voices in my head ;)

**BPOV**

"Oh my God Jake! Is the room on fire?!" I tried to yell but it came out garbled. My throat wasn't getting any better.

"What?" He questioned, now his voice was thick with sleep.

"Jake, it's so hot in here", I said as I ripped all of the covers off of the bed.

"Bells, are you serious? First you can't get warm enough now 'the room is on fire?' Is this fever melting your brain?"

I don't know if that was a real question or if it was major sarcasm, but my sudden movement from throwing off the covers released something I had spent all night holding back. My chest started to deeply convulse and my stomach tightened.

"Bells, you look a really pale", Jake, said in a shaky voice.

That's astonishing; being as there is virtually no sun in Forks and I have almost no pigment anyway. I couldn't reply because as he said that I rolled off of him and onto the floor, kneeling on all fours face first into my wastebasket. Even after I upchucked all of last nights poisonous dinner I continued to painfully dry heave. This continued action caused Jacob to worry more.

"Bella, please let me take you to the emergency room"

"No!"

Jake pulled my hair back to see my pained expression and tear soaked flushed face.

"Bella, I can't sit here and watch you die"

"Jake you are so melodramatic, I am not going to die. This will pass and I'm not going to the emergency room so they can either make me drink two quarts of tainted Crystal Light for some CAT scan, or stick me with some saline solution for hours". I interjected.

"Oh, so I can see you've done this before. Again, how did I not know this?" ooh he's getting angry

"Because we've never gone to the same hospital. And, now that you mention it you and Edward treat me like a Faberge egg. **(A/N: if you don't know what it is look it up, they're beautiful) **If I had told either of you that I was sick I would be on permanent lock down. It's bad enough my parents were like the Gestapo growing up, I don't need you two treating me any differently either". I said still shaking from my chest pain.

"So, there's more?! How could you hold out on me for so long? Damn, how didn't Edward figure it all out with his freakish mind reading thing?" Now he just sounded completely surprised and his voice had risen three octaves.

"Because" _dumb_ _ass _ "Edward and his family don't eat so I never had the awkward dinner time conversation. And, when they do feed me I choose what's being made So, I'm safe on all accounts".

"Except for the whole blood lust thing", he mumbled like I wasn't supposed to hear him.

I leaned over to smack him and in my weakened state I just started to fall over. Jacob caught me, of course. Then he started the sweet talk to try and persuade me to visit the hospital.

Jake really had no idea what I've been through. I had been sick all of my life. My mother and father went to great lengths to insure that I ate properly stuck to my diet and never fully over exerted myself. Despite that I still had an occasional visit to the emergency room, my first trip will forever be burned into my memory vault.

_(Flashback)_

_Nurse Betty – "Ok, Isabella you have to drink these two quarts of water then we'll take you up to get a CAT scan so that we can see what's wrong with you "_

_Me - "But my stomach hurts so much"_

_Nurse Betty- "It's ok honey, just drink as much as you can as often as you can. Whenever you finish then we'll go"_

_So I proceeded to drink four small Dixie cups, very slowly fighting back the nausea, the horrible taste and my tight burning throat. Then suddenly…._

"_Hmmpf!" _

_Nurse Tanya to Nurse Betty – "Nurse! She threw it all up."_

_Nurse Betty came in first with a worried expression until she noticed how much of the Crystal Light I had drank/thrown up. Then she just got plain nasty._

_NB – "Come on honey you have to drink more than that, or you'll be here all night. "_

_Me – "I can't I'm too nauseas"_

_Nurse Betty stormed out of the room yelling for my doctor. (Conversation outside of the room hear from inside the room) "Doctor! She threw it all up"_

_Doctor – "Then give her a feeding tube"_

_Nurse Betty returned with Nurse Tanya in tow carrying a long tube and funnel. Nurse Tanya was much nicer but Slavic and very difficult to understand. She held my hand as Nurse Betty brought the tube to my face. I had to stop her before she chose the wrong nostril, because on top of everything else I had chronic nosebleeds. They proceeded to administer the feeding tube, guiding it up my nose and down my throat then poured the most foul tasting liquid down my throat into my stomach. Of course with the state I was in and the reason I was there in the first place all played a part in what happened next. I threw up the liquid and the feeding tube. Now I was just hunched over my lap leaning into a yellow bin designed to catch all of my vomit holding back tears as the feeding tube was still in my nose, but, now also hanging out of my mouth. Nurse Tanya took pity on me and rubbed circles on my back because let's be honest throwing up a feeding tube isn't easy and more or less very painful. Nurse Betty on the other hand was very annoyed. She felt I was prolonging something that she viewed as very simple. She so kindly left me there with the tube in my nose and hanging out of my mouth in search for the doctor._

_NB (conversation from outside of room heard inside room) – "Doctor, she threw up the feeding tube now too!"_

_The doctor finally expressed interest and walked into my room. Took one look at me and firmly instructed both nurses to pull the tube out. I can't believe it took eight years of medical school to see that you shouldn't leave someone with tubes hanging out of their face but I wasn't one to complain. I was in immense pain, scared and just shaking. The vomiting put a very straining physical toll on me._

_(End Flashback)_

Jake sat me on my bed and rubbed circles on my back. Thank God Charlie was on a weekend fishing trip with Billy or our current state would be construed as very compromising. Me, in lace panties with matching bras, (courtesy of Alice), and Jake sporting nothing but his Scooby Doo boxers. Good thing Edward wasn't home to see this.

"Come on Bells, do this for me. Humor me. "

"Jake, please. I don't want to. Please can we just lay here? As long as I don't move I'll be fine, it'll pass I promise.

"Really? Because, you're all sweaty, clammy and you're shaking" he said as he gently pulling us back down onto the bed.

"Bella, I'm not into forcing you to do things that you don't want to do." Jake repositioned himself so that he was now hovering over me making sure not to put any of his weight on me. "But, I would feel a lot better and it would give me a piece of mind if you would let me take you. I need to know that you're safe and that you'll be ok".

"She's not going anywhere with you mutt"

Aw, damn!


	3. Chapter 3

I own nothing except for this wonderful plot!

**EPOV**

"Rose, are you done yet?"

"Look Edward if you're going to be that impatient just go home the rest of us rather enjoy taking a break from humans", she growled.

My siblings came out of their hiding places and Jasper was the first to speak.

"Edward, what Rose mean is if you're done then you can go home. " Your mood is affecting everyone", he said in earnest.

"Alice?" I started; she already knew what I was going to ask.

"No, I haven't seen her in hours, she must still be with the dog."

Grrr!

"Alright, I'll see you guys at home." I didn't wait for a response I just started to run home. I'll get there in a little over and hour. I'll change and wait for my Bella.

It's been two years and I still get anxious when I'm away from her, hell when I'm about to see her, when I kiss her, when I look at her…. man I'm a pathetic love- sick mind reading freak.

I finally get home change into a shirt that I know makes Bella drool and head out to her house. I've never been self-conscious before. I've heard Bella mumble something like "Adonis God" in her sleep, but, when I'm about to see her I get all caught up in my angst and change at least four or five times. Luckily Alice usually just picks out my outfit, and, gratefully, she has yet to mention my nerves to Bella, though I'm sure she would only be too pleased.

Losing myself in my thoughts I arrive at Bella's house quicker than I realized. Uggh!!

"I can still smell the mutt", I muttered to myself. I had to remind myself to be nice about Jacob, he is her best friend and I can't take that way from her. He knows I can read his mind and yet he still brings up memories of him and Bella from when they were younger. I probably wouldn't care if it was anyone else, but his memories are always usually smut filled. Not, extensively so, but he's definitely touched more of Bella than I care to know.

I don't think she knows to the extent of how much I know about how they used to experiment with each other. Mostly I'm angry because I'm just a jealous guy, I don't want to know about anyone touching my Bella never the less see their memories. The other reason is just pathetic. I'll never be able to touch her like that; I have to exert so much self-control with her. I would love nothing more than to plunge two or three of my cold fingers into her fire hot wet core. I'd love to be the one that makes her moan and weak. I can't count how many times I've day dreamed about waking her up with my face between her legs, her hands in my hair holding back screams of pleasure so we don't wake up Charlie. Damnit! I'm a vampire! I have the unparalleled strength and unending endurance to make her cum for hours and I have to watch just how passionately I kiss her. I know Bella loves me, I can hear it, I can feel it, and I can smell it, but just knowing that he can give her things that I so desperately want to breaks my cold undead heart.

I would never admit this to Jake though I think he'd have a field day. We've gotten past the whole mortal enemy thing once Bella threatened to leave us both. That was the worst week and half of my existence. Somehow all three of us ended up at our meadow together and I heard Jake's perverse memories for the last time. He had the nerve to look at me right in the eyes and smirk. I growled and then we both lost it. We ran right for each other. He nearly tore my arm full off and I had cracked his sternum with an amazing kick! We were about to bite each other when we finally heard Bella's screams.

_(Flashback)_

"_Stop it, stop it, stop it!" she screamed slamming her hands palms down onto the grass with emphasizing each phrase._

_Then she stared crying hysterically. Jacob and I attempted to run to her but she leaned back off of her knees onto her heels and began to back away._

"_No, stay away from me!" she managed through tears. So Jake and I stopped our advancing._

"_I can't believe the two of you don't love me enough to even just try. I love you guys so much sniff, but it's like you're pulling me in two different directions sniff. I know it's too much to expect you guys to be friends or even like each other, but is it too much for you to recognize how happy the other one makes me?" Then she went back to crying._

_Jakes mind went blank for a moment, until he pulled a memory he had of catching Bella and me on her couch one day watching a movie. He thought about the way she smiled and how gentle her hand looked with her fingers laced with mine, and how my face had nothing but love and adoration on it while I played with a strand of her hair. _

_That memory reminded me why I secretly did like Jake. Despite his foul smelling ass, he was a good friend to Bella, the best and I couldn't have asked for better. Jake and I looked at each other from the corner of our eyes and mumbled "sorry"._

_Bella calmed down just enough to say._

"_As much as I love you two I can't take this feeling anymore. The love of my life and best friend hate each other and it leaves me feeling empty. I'm leaving it up to the two of you to figure out something that works. And, I swear to God if you don't then stay the fuck away from me."_

"_Bella" I started, but she immediately cut me off._

"_Edward, no. Take me home I'm not doing this anymore, you guys can call me when you've figure out whatever the fuck it is that you need to figure out."_

_(End Flashback)_

Despite that speech it took Jake and I five days to figure out how we could "share" Bella. We both missed her like crazy but just couldn't be around each other long enough without growling. Finally we bonded over the only thing we had in common, Bella. Once we shared stories and memories and feelings for her then things became a little easier. We both agreed that she needed protection at all times and we both agreed that only we could do it best. So we may still not enjoy not being the only man in her life, but we now have a mutual understanding, Bella's happiness comes before our own.

So here I am at the edge of the woods just before my Bella's house and I can smell the wolf in there. I step closer but slowly because I'm always curious to know exactly what they talk about when I'm not around, I know so sue me.

"Jake, please. I don't want to. Please can we just lay here? As long as I don't move I'll be fine, it'll pass I promise." Bella's voice sounds shaky and weak. Is she scared or tired?

"Really? Because, you're all sweaty, clammy and you're shaking" Shaking? What the hell! We agreed that nothing would happen to her while I was away, what the hell did he do to her? Fuck, what is he doing to her now?

"Bella, I'm not into forcing you to do things that you don't want to do, but I would feel a lot better and it would give me a piece of mind if you would let me take you. I need to know that you're safe and that you'll be ok".

Take her! Take her where. Not while I'm here. Wait…take her how? Oh I'll be damned. Then I acted on complete impulse and jumped straight from the ground into her window, only to see Jake lying above Bella on her bed in only a pair of childish Scooby Doo boxers. Oh hell no!!!

I started to shake with anger but I knew that I would risk losing Bella if I did what came naturally and just ripped his head off right away. So with a shaky voice I said "She's not going anywhere with you mutt".

I saw Jake stiffen and he immediately closed his eyes so that I wouldn't be able to see Bella through his mind. But he did it just a little too late because I already saw that she was in just her underwear and that shit just wasn't going to fly. I could hear him battle with himself about whether or not he should get up or just stay how he was so that I couldn't see Bella, little did he know that I already saw my girlfriend's mostly naked body underneath him.

"There's nothing to think about Jake, just get off of her now!" I was still shaking; I was trying so hard to control the white blinding rage that was quickly starting to consume me.

Jake rolled off of Bella and I immediately saw that she was flushed and had been crying plus she was shaking life a leaf. I ran to her side and held her hand. I was still angry but my concern for her was taking over.

"Bella honey, what's wrong? Did Jake do this to you?" I asked as I placed my hand on her face hoping that my cool touch would help alleviate her fever.

Bella glanced quickly at Jake then back to me and he immediately began to recite the Quileute alphabet in his head. He wasn't as good at blocking his thoughts as my siblings but it did the trick. I glared at him suddenly knowing that he had hurt my Bella and when I was done making sure that she was alright our agreement was over and he would be dead. Or as dead as I can make him and still keep Bella.

"Edward, don't be angry he didn't do it on purpose", she said in a very small voice trying hard to convince me that that mutt shouldn't be harmed, oh well I beg to differ.

I looked over at Bella so that I could remain calm I had to for her sake. "Tell me beautiful, what happened? What can I do?" knowing full well what I could do, I could kill him where he stands. Give Esme a nice new werewolf skinned rug for Carlisle's office.

Bella looked off like she wasn't sure what she should say or do. But what she said next was not what I expected at all.

"Edward, Jake was just going to take me to see the doctor on the reservation."

"What?" Jake and I both yelled in unison. I looked at him and he took one second too long to straighten out his face. So he wasn't aware of this either? That means she's hiding something from me. I'll be damned if he takes her away from me to let a veterinarian see to her health.

"Nonsense Bella, whatever's wrong with you I'm sure Carlisle is more than experienced enough, and more than happy to help you. Now please beautiful tell me what's wrong." It has to be the flu or something I mean her symptoms parallel that of the flu, but then how is that Jake's fault? Unless he had the flu then some how gave it to her. If I find out that he kissed or did something more to give it to her I'll cut off one of his paws and use it as a keychain.

"Edward, what are you doing home? You weren't supposed to come home until tonight", she questioned trying innocently enough to change the subject.

"I was finished early and couldn't wait to see you. Now love please let me take you to my house and let Carlisle take a look at you" I softly pleaded. Why wouldn't she let Carlisle look at her? She loves Carlisle and she was always so quick to have him fix her before going to the hospital. She had quickly become his favorite patient. I know it would hurt and confuse and concern him greatly if she went somewhere else.

She flung her legs over the opposite side of the bed from where I was kneeling. It was obvious that she was very weak as she attempted to stand on her own. Jake quickly reached over to support her and he let an earlier memory of her throwing up come to mind. He quickly started thinking about his rust bucket of a car before I fired a line of questions.

"What was that Jake? What's making her sick?" I attempted through clenched teeth.

Jake stared into Bella's eyes and from his mind I could see that she was silently pleading with him not to tell me. He was mentally berating himself for not noticing "it" sooner and said, not too convincingly, "I think she's just a little under the weather and she agreed that since you were away I could take her to the res to get checked out".

"Why are you both lying to me?" Then I turned to Bella "Bella, sweetheart, if there is something wrong you know I can take care of you", there is no way she's walking out of this house with him to a hospital that I can't go to with someone that Alice can't see. What if something happens and my family and I can't help? I'm not leaving my Bella's life up to some young pup that still wears cartoon boxers.

She turned to me and sweetly said "I know Edward, but you weren't here and I promised Jake already, I think that we should go now" and with that she picked up a pair of jeans off the floor and a t-shirt that was strewn over here rocking chair. Then Jake proceeded to put on the rest of his clothes. Watching the two of them get dressed brought back the white-hot rage. I don't know what they were doing before I got here, but I definitely don't like that they had to redress. I pinched the bridge of my nose as Bella walked up to me and pulled my hand from my face. The heat from her fever was radiating off of her.

"Edward, I'll be fine. Just let Jake take me and I promise he'll call you with updates ok. Then when I get released you can pick me up at the border. "

"Bella, no. I want to take you to Carlisle. I'm not letting you go to a hospital that I can't go to with people that Alice can't see. What if something happens? I couldn't live with myself or with Jake if I can't be there and everything that can be done. Please, come home with me"

"Jake and I are leaving now", she said firmly as she started to walk around me and out of her room. I kneeled down and wrapped my arms around her hips placing my head on her stomach, she flinched and if I could have I would have cried right then and there. My Bella was sick and she was leaving. She was adamantly refusing to let me help her why was she doing this? Didn't she know how much I needed her? Didn't she know that my biggest fear in this life was to lose her to some silent deadly disease? Yet, she was about to walk away from me without letting the man who would kill for her, die for her take care of her.

"Please Bella". I pleaded. At this point I didn't care if Jake was there I didn't care who saw me or hear me I had to get her to listen, if she was sick I was going to be there for her I had to, I just had to. "Don't leave me, let me help you. I love you so much, please don't walk away from me".

Bella ran her fingers through my hair leaned over and whispered to me. "My heart is here with you so I have to come back. But please Edward, let me go I have to do this and Jake will make sure that I'm taken care of".

I reluctantly stood up and glared at Jake who tried very hard to keep his mind completely blank. What the fuck is he hiding? "Fine fang, but she better come back in the same 100% condition that I left her in two days ago or I will not hesitate to skin you".

"I agree" was all he could say yet I knew there was so much more going on than they were revealing. I would just have to find out when she came back, right now she needed medical attention and even though the dog doctor was going to be the one looking after her I would tell Carlisle so he could double check her files and do a once over when I got her to my house.

I took Bella's cold sweaty shaky hand and brought her downstairs and outside to Jake's death trap of a car. Man I wish he would upgrade, between him and Bella I had my hands full. Jake was now reciting a poem of some sort in Quileute and hopped in the driver seat and I placed Bella in the passenger side. I leaned over and kissed her passionately, can't let Rover forget who she really belongs to whispered my lover to her, knowing full well he could hear me and stepped back to let him take her away from me.

They pulled out of her driveway and down the road in the direction of La Push. Once I couldn't hear his car anymore I ran home. I had to get Carlisle to go over all of her files. If she just had a cold or the flu she wouldn't have reacted that way, she would have let me do what I do best and take care of her. Something was up and I was going to figure it out if I had to kill Jake to do it.


	4. Chapter 4

Stephanie Meyer owns the characters, but I'm still allowed to play with them aren't I?

**BPOV**

Jacob decided no to speak until we were almost at the LaPush Hospital, probably just to insure that Edward wouldn't hear him.

"What the hell was that?" he yelled.

"What?" Though I don't think playing dumb is really going to work.

"Don't what me! I can't lie to Edward," he said as he turned into the hospital.

"Oh, since when do you care about lying to Edward?" I really was curious, if anyone I would think that he would get a kick out of keeping Edward in the dark.

"I don't care about Edward, I don't like being caught off guard like that. I can't even think of a lie because he'll know right away." He said as he opened my door.

"How did you keep it from him anyway? I asked as I unbuckled my seatbelt.

"I kept reciting the Quileute alphabet then some tribal nursery rhymes," he said as he practically carried me into the ER.

"Don't do that anymore, he's really smart and he'll eventually pick it up then you'll be screwed".

Jake walked me directly to the triage. A tanned woman with a tight bun was sitting behind the desk.

"Hi, my friend here had an allergic reaction to dinner this evening." The woman looked over at me a little surprised but she quickly recovered. Guess you don't get a lot of pale faces in here.

"Ok, please fill out this paperwork and we'll be right with you" she said handing me a clipboard with three sheets each asking for detailed information on my medical history. I sat across from Jake so he couldn't read my paperwork. He would find out the details soon enough, but I didn't need a fight in the waiting room.

Sure enough I hand back the paperwork and the admitting nurse reads it and ushers us into a room right away. Another nurse comes in and takes my vitals and proceeds to put on three hospital bracelets. One bracelet has my information on it; the second is orange one and then a purple one. Now I know what they're for but Jake doesn't, so guess who decides to play twenty questions?

Jake to the nurse, "what's the orange and purple ones for?"

The nurse turns to Jake, her reaction revealing that she didn't really pay attention to him when she first walked in because she seemed a little too eager to share my personal information.

"Well the orange one alerts staff to her allergies and the purple is so we know that she's on medication" she beamed at Jake.

She turned to me and said "Ok Isabella you're a little dehydrated so we're going to give you an IV of saline solution." She turned back around to get the needle ready and to smile at Jake.

Before she was done my doctor walked in. He greeted the nurse and introduced himself with my folder in his hand.

"Hello, I'm doctor Weiner." Jake snorted and tried to cover it with a cough, yeh so obvious. The doctor smiled and just said yep my name is Richard Weiner but you can call me Richie".

"Or Dr. Dick" Jake muttered so only I could hear him but I still glared at him.

"So Isabella tell me, what brings you in here tonight?"

"Well doctor", I began hesitantly, I'm still not excited about Jake knowing everything and by the end of this visit he will, "my friend and I went to dinner at this new Asian Fusion place in Port Angeles. I let him order for me and apparently he ordered me Thai food". I paused waiting for the doctor to respond. He didn't he just nodded knowingly and proceeded to make notes in my new folder, "I started to feel sick halfway through dinner and asked to be taken home, where I proceeded to get a fever, then chills, they alternated and I threw up."

The doctor frowned at me then said "Isabella, did you know that Thai food is made with peanut oil?"

I shook my head "not until Jake looked it up when we got back to my house" I said honestly.

"Did you take anything?" he asked.

At this question I seriously blushed. I had let Jake give me pepto bismol and I knew from past experience that in doing so I would only make things worse, but I was too afraid of alerting Jake of the real underlying problem. So I took it and of course that only made everything that much worse. My medical history is too extensive for me to play dumb with this doctor and when I tell him he's either going to have me committed for insanity or he's going to yell at me in front of Jake that will not lead to a good conversation when we get home.

I nodded my head in response praying that he wouldn't ask me what I took, but then again he wouldn't be a good doctor if he didn't.

"What did you take?" he question noticing my blush. The way he asked that let me know that he knew I wasn't going to say anything good.

"Pepto Bismol", I said in a small voice, totally embarrassed and waiting for the wrath that would ensue.

The doctor's eyes went wide and I heard a sudden intake of breath before he said calmly, "Isabella, I see here that you have a hiatal hernia." I just nodded to that too, "then I do believe that you are aware that pepto bismol is the worst thing for you to be taking?" I nodded at that too.

The doctor let out a sharp breath through his nose, he didn't even know me and he was disappointed in the way I responded to this whole situation. Jake being Jake decided to ask more questions.

"What's a hiatal hernia?"

So the doctor proceeded to show Jake a diagram of how a hiatal hernia is a protrusion of the upper part of the stomach into the esophagus through a tear in the diaphragm, Jake's eyes wide the whole time.

Looking at me Jake asked, "Doesn't that hurt?"

"Sometimes, like right now" I answered without looking at him.

Then the doctor asked another million-dollar question, "Why were you prescribed donnatal?" and Jake looked at me with his inquisitive expression.

I sighed this is getting worse, "The lining of my stomach is enflamed"

"Mmmhmm, I see", he said. I was silently praying that that would be all he would say but of course the Gods were not done conspiring against me.

"Ok, so you're here because you had an allergic reaction to this evenings dinner, coupled with your other ailments, I'd say that you're in a lot of pain right now, am I correct?" he asked with his arms around his chest.

Over the past two years being under the watchful eye of Edward, Alice, Jasper and Jake I've become pretty good at masking my pain. So, though my initial reaction was to say no I gave in to my genuine feelings and simply nodded my head.

"Ok, I'm going to give you a small prescription of codeine, but it's just until tonight's pain subsides. I suggest you visit your gastroenterologist then your allergist. I'm also going to give you samples of aciphex to ease the pain the vomiting may have caused your throat. Now head home and take it easy, for now. I'm sure you must be exhausted. " The doctor patted my shoulder and walked out.

Jake and I sat in silence for a few minutes waiting for my saline solution to finish before a nurse would come and detach me. Jake looked a combination of surprised, hurt and scared. I knew that this was a lot for him to take in. As much as I wanted to ignore everything I knew that he would want to talk about it, and I knew here wasn't going to be the place to do it.

After twenty minutes the nurse came in and smiled at me. "Well, looks like we're all done here and the color has come back to your lips. Dr. Weiner has given my your samples to give to you. Feel better Isabella", she said with a smile as Jake and I left my room in silence.

The ride out of La Push was filled with tension. I was going to ask if he intended to call Edward to come and pick me up but I knew by the look on his face that all would be revealed when we saw Edward. I knew where he was going by the direction that we were taking, we were going to the Cullen's. Great that's all I need, letting a house full of vampires know that I'm not just a weak human that their prodigious son fell in love with, but I'm also a sick weak human that their son fell in love with.

Panic started to rise in my chest as I thought that. _Would Edward still love me the same if he knew I wasn't 100%? He doesn't treat me like an equal now, will he continue to love me or just take pity on me? Will he use this as an excuse not to change me? I mean really who wants to change a sick lying human that they'll have to live with forever. I can't believe this, Edwards going to leave me for lying to him for so long and for being even weaker that he initially assumed. _

Now panicking is not something that I should ever be doing because it restricts my chest and makes the hernia hurt more. Being that I was already in pain from these evening's events it hurt worse and I started to hyperventilate. Jake pulled over to the side of the road and pulled me close to him.

"Calm down Bella. Calm down. " He said whilst rubbing my back.

I tried to breathe in through my mouth and out of my nose after what seemed like forever I pulled away from his embrace. Then Jake started to talk.

"Look I know having these many things wrong with you can't be easy for you, but you do know that Edward and I love you right?" He asked as he looked into my eyes.

I breathed deeply before responding, "I know, I do, but it's just….do we have to let everyone know that I'm sick. I mean I'm already the weak human I just don't want things to get worse."

"Look I'll be there with you, we'll explain everything that happened tonight then we'll come to some sort of agreement with how best to handle this." He said like he could control a house full of vampires, especially one as controlling and paranoid as Edward.

I agreed but was desperately trying to figure out a way to keep things how they've been. I know that with Edward and Carlisle's medical background they're going to go overboard with everything. My diet, my activities, my medication I can just hear the click of the locks as Edward puts me on lock down for the rest of the summer.

Jake proceeded to drive down the road until I showed him the secret turn to the Cullen's driveway. The closer we got the more nervous I became. I so desperately tried to control my breathing. As we pulled up to the house on the porch stood my own personal god. I'm sure he could hear my erratic heartbeat from a mile away. Before I could do anything else he had already opened my door and pulled me out hugging me gently. Despite the gentle embrace my stomach was still incredibly sore from the vomiting so I flinched, just like I did earlier in my room. I was going to have some serious explaining to do before Edward started assuming that I didn't want him to touch me anymore.

Edward glared at Jake before saying, "We've got it from here, Bella's in good hands." With that he started to lead me away from Jake's car.

"Not so fast Cullen, Bella and I need to have a talk with you and your family," Jake said as he walked up to the front door. This is not going to be good.


	5. Chapter 5

I do not own twilight, but can someone tell me how I can own Taylor Lautner?

**EPOV**

When I got back to my house Alice was sitting on the front porch with her legs crossed underneath her, but I could still see her bouncing in her seat. I ran up to the door with the intention of speaking to Carlisle right away, but of course the little pixie had to stop me first.

"Ok, so I can see that you don't know what's wrong with her but do you really think scrutinizing her files is going to make a difference?", she questioned.

I was not going to be deterred, I was a man on a mission and the love of my existence was sick and I was going to figure out why. I pinched the bridge of my nose as I tried to calm myself. It wasn't Alice's fault she didn't see this coming, no one expected her to be omniscient, but it would be her fault if I didn't get inside and speak to Carlisle. I wasn't aggravated with Alice so to speak; I was pissed as hell at Jake for taking Bella away from me and being so irresponsible as to get her sick to begin with. I'm mad at myself for trusting that dog with my heart. I was always told, "If you want something done right, do it yourself". I should've known that he didn't love her like he said he does.

"Alice", stay calm, "I'm just going to ask Carlisle to go through her life to see if there's anything we missed." Before she could retort I ran past her up to Carlisle's study.

I knew that Carlisle had heard my exchange with Alice but I still had to ask if he would help me.

"Good evening Carlisle", I began.

"Edward", he said expectantly without raising his head from the book he had been reading.

I took an unneeded deep breath and began and proceeded to explain these evening's events. Because Jake is a werewolf Alice hadn't seen all that had happened, she only saw me come home in a hurry and solicit Carlisle's help.

I'm sure Carlisle could read the distress on my face when I was don. He sat in his overstuffed leather chair calmly rethinking Bella's symptoms. I, on the other hand, was about ready to beg my father for his help. Every moment we weren't reading her file was a moment closer to me possibly losing her. Then Carlisle finally spoke.

"Edward, are you sure that you want to go through her file again? You've been through it already and nothing ever jumped out at you before". The way he posed his question let me know that e was just confirming that I wanted to do this and that he was going to help me anyway. Carlisle always loved a challenge. It's been at least two hundred years, or the plague, since he came across a mystery.

"Yes Carlisle, I'm sure", I said with so much conviction he no longer questioned me, he just stood up to get Bella's phonebook size file, I cringed internally at that. Bella had been injured so many times that any one of the many injuries she has sustained could have been the beginning of a domino effect. Carlisle and I split the file in half and after two hours the only thing we had confirmed was that my heart was the clumsiest person on the planet and possibly the most fragile, I mean really who breaks their toe tripping over a leaf blower? **(A/N: my mother actually did, it was hysterical)**

"Edward?" Carlisle's tone got my attention.

"Yes", I answered trying to hide my enthusiasm. His thoughts let me know he found something, sort of.

"Is Bella allergic to any medication?"

What! Calm down Edward, I said to myself. Don't let your impatience get the best of you. "Um, Carlisle if she was I think her file would be littered with that information."

"Not necessarily son. Have you ever noticed that every time Bella is administered a pain killer it's either Bayer aspirin or something much stronger?" Hmm, ok no I didn't but I never questioned it before because Carlisle's been her doctor ever since we moved here.

"Maybe it's just what she preferred. You know that humans are creatures of habit." I said, still waiting for him to get to the point.

"Well, I'm just curious as to why anything she takes doesn't have Ibuprofen in it." Ok, now I'm awake, so to speak.

"What do you think that means?" I asked hopeful, two medical degrees under my belt and I wasn't following him at all.

"Well son", he started, "it could mean nothing but I do know that people with a stomach ailment can't take Ibuprofen. It eats away at the lining if their stomach is too sensitive."

Ok this is something to contemplate. "No where in her file does it say anything about her having an allergy to medication or problems with her stomach." I argued

"Well my dear Edward", oh man we're going to play Sherlock and Watson, "the file that we have here records her medical history as she goes through the ER, not her history with previous doctors or specialists."

"Ok, but the preliminary questionnaire asks enough questions so that the ER staff is flagged before any deadly mistakes can be made." I really feet like we were going nowhere.

"Edward", Carlisle said shaking his head, "since we've moved here I've been Bella's attending physician. So no real updates have been made. Her file is almost completely outdated. She's had no real reason to make any visits to the ER nor has any other doctor had to make any formal request for medication."

Light bulb!

Now I couldn't wait to get Bella here. I needed Carlisle to check her out and confirm his suspicions. I could only hope that Jake was going to call soon, damn werewolves. It was at times like this that I understood Alice's frustration at not being able to see Bella's future, if only she had let me bring her here to begin with Carlisle could have taken care of her and she'd be in my/our room recovering right now. Why did she always have to be so stubborn? I shouldn't complain about that though, it's her stubbornness that keeps us together. She sees the good in me when I can't. It's her persistence to love me that keeps me good and keeps me going. I just wish that sometimes she could see what I see and know that I only want to keep her around for as long as possible.

Suddenly I heard a car coming from a mile down the road. I know that rusted engine from anywhere, it's Jacob Black's car. I ran to the porch to greet my love and her pet Rolf. **(A/N: the dog from the Muppets, come on people work with me here! I'm trying hard to find different dog names.)**

Before Jake could even turn off the engine I was beside Bella's door. I opened it and let her out taking her into my arms. She still seemed weak, but she was with me now and I would do anything I could to get her strength back up. I turned to Jake and said "We've got it from here, Bella's in good hands", before turning my back on him and walking up to my house.

**JPOV (Jasper)**

"Man I rock at this game!"

"That's only 'cause you play the guitar already", Emmett complained.

"That has nothing to do with it, this game is about reflexes, you are just as much vampire as I am there is no reason why you shouldn't be hitting the same number of notes as me" I pointed out.

"Listen Jasper this game is rigged. This game is meant for uncoordinated humans who lack the skill to play a real instrument, I don't know why you make me play this stupid game with you anyway." Emmett said as he threw the drumsticks down.

"It's just Guitar Hero Emmett not mechanics there is no skill required. You're just mad because you have yet to master the charade of being human and you can't slow your reflexes enough to hit the notes on time. Don't get mad at me because I'm just that much better than you." I laughed.

"You think you can take me?" Emmett began before Edward's yelling cut him off.

"Where the hell do you think you're going? I never invited you in here. I told you that she'll be fine, she's with me now and unlike when she's with you I can insure that nothing is going to happen to her." Damn, why is Edward so mad and who is he talking to?

Whoa!!! What is that smell? It smells like, like….. werewolf.

"Hey Jake!" Emmett yelled just before Jake came into view. "Jasper and I were just playing Guitar Hero, wanna jump in"

"Nah, thanks Em, Bella and I need to have a discussion with Eddie over here", he said as he turned to face Edward who looked as if he was trying to carry Bella into the living room, and she looked as if she was so desperately trying to do so on her own.

Man, why is it every time I'm near Bella I feel, I don't know funny? Two years she's been dating Edward and I still can't figure out what it is. I've worked so hard with Alice to control my bloodlust I really hope that's not it, but whenever she's in the room I have the sudden urge to leave, almost like I can't breathe when she's in here, which is funny since I don't even need to breathe.

"Bella, are you alright?" I asked, just trying to feel her out. Can it really be me?

"Yes, Jasper I'm fine." Her tone made me think that she was more or so answering an unasked question posed by Edward. But I still wanted to leave, and then Jacob started.

"Why don't you guys stay? What we have to talk about is something I think your entire family should know. Carlisle, Alice, Rose, Esme!" He said. There really is no reason to yell they could all hear him even if he was a mile away.

Carlisle was the first to come down, he arrived so quickly it's almost as if he was waiting and knowing.

Jake waited a moment before turning to Bella, whom Edward had already sat on the couch. He had his arm wrapped around her waist protectively looking into her face expectantly.

"Bella", he whispered to her, "is there anything you wanted to share with me?" His tone made it obvious that he already knew what that something was and he was just giving her the chance to tell him and come clean. I don't' know what they're talking about, but something tells me that it was something close to way too personal for the rest of us to be listening to, but then again we were all asked to be here so I hope that what she says is not too bad.

Bella looked at Jake almost pleadingly, but in a very weak way. How did I not notice that she looked so physically weak when she walked in here? Jake shot a look that seemed to say either you say it or I will. Bella just took a deep breath and looked at her lap. Ok this is taking way too long and beginning to drag. Then Edward shot me a glance and growled lowly at me.

"Fine, I'll tell them." Jake began, and it seemed that Bella sank further into her seat and into herself.

"Edward as you know Bella was sick earlier this evening", Jake said, Edward just nodded his head whilst looking painfully at Bella. Well that's news, no wonder she looks weak. But that can't be cause for such a huge alarm, she's human they get sick all the time.

"Well our visit to the ER was very informational. It seems that Bella has been keeping something from all of us for a very long time." He glanced at Bella again waiting for her to begin speaking at any moment, but she just continued to stare into her lap. Her emotions were going haywire. She was embarrassed and angry, scared and that other something else that I haven't been able to pinpoint in two years.

Carlisle crossed the room and kneeled before Bella. He took her wrists into his hands and pressed his thumbs onto the back of her hands rubbing circles as if trying to soothe her. "Bella," he began in that soft voice that he reserved for soothing his patients. She looked up at him with sorrow in her eyes and breathed a defeated sigh into his face. I don't know how that man could do that; I mean if a human breathed directly into my face I would have gone ballistic. To the untrained eye it appeared that Carlisle was trying to placate Bella into telling us her secret, but to the rest of us who know Carlisle could tell right away he was checking her vitals as he looked directly into her eyes.

Then Bella began her story and she despite staring directly into Carlisle eyes she directed her first sentence to Edward.

"Edward, I'm so sorry." She said this so softly if everyone in the room wasn't supernatural we wouldn't have heard it.

Edward looked so pained. His emotions were flopping back and forth between pain, I guess for not being able to help Bella, and shame for again not being able to help Bella. "It's ok sweetheart whatever it is we will take care of it", he said in earnest.

"Edward, I'm sick." There was a collective gasp from everyone is the room except Jacob, Edward and Carlisle. I guess they already knew this, then the wave of emotions from everyone. Esme always felt that Bella was like a daughter to her and immediately felt protective and scared. She had already lost one child to illness she wasn't prepared to lose another. Alice was shocked and scarred; I guess she was wondering how she never saw Bella get sick. Emmett was suddenly the saddest I've ever felt him, Bella was the little sister to him, replacing the family that he lost so long ago. Rose man this is new; Rose felt pity. She may not have liked Edward falling in love with Bella but I guess she didn't want Edward to lose Bella this way, that one was surprising.

"I want it to be known that what happened tonight is entirely my fault. Jacob was unaware of my condition and did not intentionally inflict any harm on me." She stated this, I assume, because she could feel the sudden anger radiating from Edward. I immediately sent calming waves their way. They both needed it; Bella's nerves and Edward's anger were causing this discussion to go in the wrong direction. She looked at Edward and began her story.

"Tonight Jake and I went to a new Asian restaurant in Port Angeles. Without thinking I let Jake order for me. Halfway threw dinner I began feeling kinda funny. I can't explain it so don't ask, but I told Jake and asked him to take me home. By the time we reached my house I was running a fever. I laid in bed while I had Jake look up what it is we ate and he found out that it was cooked in peanut oil." Bella paused and took a deep breath and I guess the realization finally dawned on Edward because he was suddenly wide eyed and kept switching his gaze from Bella to Jacob.

Man food allergies this must be killing him. The emotions around the room were getting to be hectic, but none stronger than Edward's. His biggest fear is losing Bella over something small and you can't get smaller than her dying because she ate a peanut laced cookie.

"I'd never told Jake about my food allergies and I got scared so when he offered me pepto bismol I took that as well. Then I started to get the chills so I asked Jake to hold me until it passed. I fell asleep and when I woke up I was nauseated and threw up. That's when you came in." Bella had turned to Edward halfway through her story but kept her head down, she was feeling embarrassed and ashamed. I sent more calming waves her way; we didn't need to stress her out anymore that could only make her sicker.

Edward just stared at her and his pain at this revelation was palpable, you didn't have to be an empath to see it in his eyes.

"You said allergies. Does that mean you have more than one?" He asked with a strained voice.

Bella nodded, she hesitated before her next sentence it was obvious that she dreaded sharing this with Edward more than anyone else. If we all felt that Edward was psychotically over protective and over bearing before then I could just imagine the bubble forming around Bella as she spoke, the bubble that Edward would make her new home so that nothing would ever touch her again.

"Peanuts, walnuts, shrimp, soy, wheat, corn. " She sighed.

"Is that all", Edward asked through clenched teeth.

Bella shook her head before continuing. "No, I have a hiatal hernia and an enflamed stomach", she almost whispered.

With that Carlisle gasped, the rest of us not knowing what just happened just looked at him surprised. Bella sensing that he knew exactly what she was saying turned to him and began trying to explain herself. "I know", she started then a deep wave of fear overtook her and she started shaking, man I can't keep up with these mood swings. I sent more calming waves her way I really wanted to hear what was going on. "I know", she began again, "it was stupid and that's why I let Jake take me to the hospital. I told the ER doctor and he already gave me some codeine, I swear Carlisle I just wasn't thinking I was afraid of telling Jake anything so when he came out with the pepto bismol I just took it. I know it was stupid and I swear I'll never do it again", then she started crying. Edward leaned over and hugged her whispering to her that it would be all right and that he loved her.

The rest of us continued to look at Carlisle shocked, we had no idea what just happened or why she was suddenly crying after that admission. Sensing this Carlisle stood and explained.

"Pepto bismol is intended to reduce the acid in the stomach that causes indigestion. So basically it's almost like a vacuum, with Bella's condition I'm guessing that it caused severe stomach spasms resulting in her throwing up. With her hiatal hernia I'm sure that throwing up became very painful. Am I correct?" he asked turning back to Bella. She just nodded in Edward's chest.

Without thinking I suddenly blurted out, "Is that what I've been feeling for the past two years?" It came out in a more relieved voice that I intended but it was so good to finally know that I wasn't crazy and that all the hard work I had put into controlling my blood lust wasn't going to shame.

With my sudden outburst came a few dirty looks. I know that I confused everyone, huh, except Bella. I guess she had been trying to hide it from me too. Damn, she's good.

"I'm sorry. It's just for the past two years I've had this horribly uncomfortable feeling around Bella and I haven't been able to place it. I thought that I was having trouble controlling my blood lust and in actuality I've been feeling her underlying pain, is that right?" I looked over at Bella after my little speech, God don't let me be wrong. Or, wait! Let me be wrong! Edward and Alice may kill me for not telling them this in the first place, but I wasn't sure I didn't know, man Bella please say something.

"Yes", she whispered again. Whew! I was in the clear, but I think that I just made things harder for Bella.

"What!" screamed Edward. Yep, just made things harder.

"You mean to tell me that you've been in constant pain for two years and you never told me? Why? Why would you keep something like that from me?" He asked looking pleadingly into her eyes. The rest of us just snorted, even Jake. Edward just gave us all dirty looks and brought his gaze back to Bella.

"Because Edward, you are…..let me start again. I love how you are always there when I need you, you try your hardest to keep me safe and you are the most caring creature I've ever met. But you also have the tendency to overreact and I knew that if I told you even just about my stomach that you would go over board. I've been living with the allergies and my hernia for years and it's taken so much for me to live a normal life, free of the constant scrutiny and worries. " She said it so fast it was almost one word.

Edward started to feel ashamed at that but that quickly turned to anger. His eyes became dark and he glared at Bella. Wow, I've never seen him angry with Bella before, this is going to be interesting, nope not going to fix this one I think Bella needs to hear how he feels.

"So, now you're going to blame me for this? You hide the fact that you're sick for two years and then try to hide an attack from me and you some how twist it so that I'm at fault. You just said that you love me and part of loving me is that I try to protect you; so I go a little overboard can you blame me? You do know that you are the clumsiest person on the planet not to mention a danger magnet, or did you forget how we met?" As soon as those words left his mouth I felt the instant guilt at lashing out at her and Bella blushed a deep crimson and bit her lip fighting back tears. She was livid and deeply hurt at his outburst. She instantly turned to run out the door when Edward jumped off of the couch to go after her. Then Jake grabbed Edward and the growling started.


	6. Chapter 6

_**I own nothing, but could someone please review this story! I have to know what someone is thinking! **__****_

**Jake POV**

I jumped up from the couch ready to kill Edward Cullen. It was obvious to everyone in that room that Bella's admission was incredibly difficult for her. His dumb ass rant just caused Bella to run. Hell if I'm going to let him catch her.

"Stay away from her Cullen." I growled.

"Move Black, this has nothing to do with you", he growled back.

I quickly realized that I couldn't phase in here, so I slowly started to back out of the house. I knew Bella would be in my car waiting I had to get to her to leave. Luckily no one moved to follow me.

"Thanks for giving me the open I need to Cullen, it won't be so hard pushing you out now", I thought then I winked and was out the door and in my car.

**BPOV**

God I am so stupid! I can't believe I just did that. Now Edwards hates me, I just wanna go home. Where's Jake? Suddenly he was in the care, damn werewolf speed. Without a word he backed out of the Cullen's driveway and flew down the road. I could see he was trying to control his shaking so I touched his arm. I felt like shit. Edward was right, I never should have blamed him, I'm the liar, I'm the irresponsible one. I wouldn't be in this mess if I had been honest with everyone. But of course I, again, used bad judgment.

"I'm sorry Jake" I choked out as new tears streamed down my face, oh God what he must think of me.

Jake took a deep breath then said, "Don't worry about it. We just need to figure out what to do from here."

**EPOV**

Stupid, stupid, stupid! I chided myself. I tried one last time to make a break for the door, but just as my last three attempts my brothers held strong and fast to my shoulders.

"Let me go", I growled pathetically. By now I was weak with emotion and just wanted to make things right with Bella. I need to apologize and tell her I'm an ass. I made her lie to me. I made this relationship for what it was. My Bella had kept something from me because I made it impossible for her to be honest with me and I had to fix it.

"Edward, you need to calm down. Your outburst is what caused her to run in the first place. You can't go after her right now. Let her come to you, let her calm down you can't force it." Carlisle whispered to me and only me. I love her with all my being; I need to let her be. As much as I want her to rely on me and be ok I can't force her hand. But, I can be there. So I will, and I now I wait.

**BPOV**

"Thanks Jake but I'm going to lay down now. I'm sorry about tonight, I'll call you tomorrow", I called to him as I ran from the car to my house.

I need to call Edward, apologize. Running was immature and stupid. I messed this up so bad; I need to make it right. Tomorrow, tomorrow I'll call for now I'll rest. I need rest. I was so tired I fell right to bed. When I woke the next morning I knew that I had to do whatever I could to get Edward to trust me again. I slept so horribly since I didn't have Edward. I can't believe he didn't come last night, but I don't blame him, I'd be mad at me too. I have to go to him.

I showered and put together and outfit that Alice bought me, I had to do right by her too. I lied to them all. They've cared for me and been so good to me and I've been so horrible.

I pulled up to the house and no one was waiting for me on the porch. That alone brought that scratchy feeling to my the back of my throat, the one you get right before you cry, but now is not the time to feel sorry for myself. I need to make this right and start acting like the adult that I keep telling everyone that I am. So, I swallowed hard and walked right up to the front door. Instinct told me to knock first, but what's the point when the occupants can smell you from a mile away?

I walked right in.

No one was in the living room, or the dining room or the kitchen. So I made my way up to Edward's room. When I got to the doorway I saw my beautiful God sitting on his bed waiting for me. In that instant I forgot everything that I wanted to say, everything that I had been going over in my mind and all I could feel was the guilt. I had deceived him, I had led him to believe that I was stronger than I was and I lied to him when I was sick. I was too much of a coward to be honest with him and as soon as I told him the truth I was too much of a coward to face his well-deserved anger. Whatever was to happen now I deserved, I just hope that he loved me enough to understand how sorry I am.

I walked over to him and stood between his legs placing my hand on his cheek. He kept his eyes closed as he brought his face up to look at me.

"Edward", was all I could get out as I suddenly tried to choke back a sob. He opened his eyes and I could see all the pain that I had caused in them.

"Bella", he said as he wrapped his arms around my waist to pull me closer, he looked as if he struggled with his words, something I have never seen happen with him.

"I'm sorry that I haven't been…..I thought that I was…" he squeezed his eyes tight and took a deep unneeded breath and started again. "I will try harder to be the boyfriend, friend, and confidant whatever it is that you need me to be for us to be closer. I don't want to be the reason you get sick. I don't want you to feel like you can't come to me for every little thing. I know that with you I can be…no, that I am obsessive compulsive but do you even minutely understand how much I live for you?" His last sentence was almost pleading.

"Edward, starting now I promise to tell you everything, so much so that you're going to get sick of hearing about it. I know that I should have been more honest and that I should have let you help me manage when I needed, but can you understand my fear?" I had gotten the courage to subtly admit my fear of Edward leaving me because I'm weak, let's hope this eloquent son-of-a-bitch doesn't say something that let's the tears that have been fighting to fall see the light of day.

"I'm sorry for any insecurities that my family or I have been instrumental in creating. I want to work on this aspect of our relationship and I know that we can deal with this together" he said with a small smile. That smile let me know that he was sincere with what he said and that we would work through this together.

Now this next part is going to be difficult considering our recent turn of events but I have to try anyway. Edward and I just agreed to start trusting each other and there's no better time to start than the present.

"Ok so since we have formed a new bond and truce, I was wondering if you'd be opposed to me accompanying Angela to a renaissance fair in Seattle next weekend?" It was so lame and I didn't really want to go but I wanted so badly to test Edward.

"Ugh! All right. But Bella please promise me that you'll try very hard to eat as little as possible while there, I didn't mean it like that what I mean is just try to eat as healthy as you can before you go." Edward said this so seriously that I was left with my mouth open. Ok, that wasn't at all what I was expecting and that was way too easy. Normally I would have chosen that moment to question him, but I figured don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

"Ok." Then I paused not knowing how to start the rest of our day. But Edward did. Suddenly he had me on my back with his hand up my shirt. I guess our time apart and my almost brush with death had gotten him hot. But, hey who's complaining? I would give anything if Edward would just rip my pant off and have his way with me.

I couldn't stop the shiver that ran down my spine as he ghosted his hand from my back to the side of my breast. When I opened my eyes I saw that he was watching me intently with a look of complete love and lust. I don't know how he has so much control if he wasn't stronger than me I would have thrown him down long ago and made a man out of him. But, since he was in charge of our boundaries I had to be patient and see what he was up to, and I hope it was nothing good.

Edward leaned in and kissed me, but this wasn't one of our normal soft delicate kisses. Don't get me wrong I loved those kisses, hell I loved any kind of contact I had with Edward but those were vanilla kisses and right now we were dealing with dark chocolate. He added to my arousal by pressing more of his weight down on to me and I couldn't help but buck my hips up to his desperately trying to create some friction. I'm not experienced at all in this department but everything seemed to be complete second nature and he didn't seem too ready to stop me, so I'm going to push this as far as I can and hopefully I'll get out of here a woman.

Edward had expertly unclasped my bras without me realizing it and was pushing it off of me along with my shirt. I've never been this naked in front of anyone before so I felt self-conscious enough to start to cover myself up until he grabbed hold of my wrists and kissed my knuckles.

"You are so beautiful", kiss, "please don't cover yourself up", kiss, "I want to see all of you" and with that he took off his shirt. Great now I feel even more insecure, but seeing him with his shirt off caused me to have a sharp intake of breathe and unknowingly hold it.

"Breath Bella", he said as he leaned down and took my hardened nipple into his mouth. I didn't just breathe I sighed and moaned heavily into his face. I suddenly felt myself get so wet I knew that it would be visible through my shorts. Smelling my arousal Edward smiled and without missing a beat started to let his elegant fingers travel down my stomach to the top of my shorts never breaking eye contact. Just as he reached under my lace underwear we heard Emmett's booming laughter fill the house.

"Hey Edward make sure to use some of that warming lotion that you took out of my room the other day, the ladies love it". And with that he was off the bed and fully clothed me on the other hand working with human speed couldn't move fast enough before Alice came running in.

"Oh, Bella! You're going to love the fair we have to pick out something for you to wear while you're there", she was bouncing up and down like she had just won the genetic lottery.

"Alice, I don't need to dress up, I'm going to the fair, I'm not going to be in the fair", I said trying so hard to beat down the blush that had crept up on me as I thought about how the whole house knew that Edward and I were up here half naked.

"I know that, but that doesn't mean that we can't be a little festive", she said as she grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me off of the bed and out of the room.

"Alice, I don't do festive, I'm going to hear for Angela and to hear the readings, I don't feel….wait did you say we?" Why did I just hear we?

"Come on silly do you really think that Edward would let you go by yourself. He agreed to let you go sure and he may not have pressed the issue of going himself but he wouldn't be Edward if he didn't have someone there to insure things." She said this matter-of-factly and I started to feel myself get really angry. So, we were still on this. Treating Bella like a child, or disobedient pet, but no sooner than did I get angry that I started getting excited and I couldn't wait for Alice to show me what we could wear to the fair.

I pulled hard on my wrist yanking it out of Alice's grip, that was going to leave a horrible bruise, and yelled to the sky, "Jasper, cut that out".

Jasper appeared out of nowhere and whispered to me, "come on Bella, if you go with Alice and make her happy I promise to work on Edward for you". Did everyone have something up their sleeve? I wasn't sure if anyone else heard us but I wanted Jasper's help and he wanted mine for some reason so I nodded my head in agreement for the time being. God help me if she makes me wear tights.


End file.
